"What I mean by this is to not criticize them but to explain how you feel because of the sex life or situation." As a result, intercourse is painful for me. It's a learning process for everyone, Alhamdulillah. 2. Abu Az-Zubayr, please be respectful when speaking of the Prophets. Sometimes we correct each other, and sometimes the readers correct us. ofcourse, with hormone release in a man, always comes along with it the extreme desire to have sexual contact.inshaallaah you will see a completely different man, physiologically and sexually. fabricated by others in the chain of hadith, similar to Bukhari's hadith. The reduction of the prophet Muhammad to a lusty man only interested in sex( and nothing else!!!!!) Is that supposed to be a threat or warning? I guess I had high expectations from the editors, and is not the first time I have realised how an editor here has chosen to ignore a readers post after being corrected. My hubby developed ED about 15 tears ago when he was with his previous wife. Hmm, I guess you're right. Sallallahu alaihi wasallam. When I get my head into the right space, I can have sex with him and enjoy it, and he really knows how to please me and what I like, but I don’t feel that spark where I want to rip his clothes off and I don’t really get that vibe from him either. When I was pregnant we couldn't do anything because of pregnancy complications so of course he turned to porn. So you ask him what he wants and then divorce or stay with him accordingly, I think he will find peace and enjoy intimacy if he remarries to a loyal and caring wife who can concentrate 100% on him. Wow, I ask a single question and you twist it around and portray me as a feminist or a person who’s so assimilated with the Western culture and their ideologies. Such is his audacity and such is his nifaq. Narrated Abu Huraira: They know that Islam is based on the Quran and the Sunnah and they also know that if they can destroy the sunnah somehow, they can destroy Islam. says that Umar ibn al Khatab wipped him twice because of certain untrue things he said about the Nabi. And what has that got to do with him having relationship with all of them? Or that you love foreplay and would like to make it longer. Adds Patricia, "My husband and I usually take a bath together to transition into sex." I have a lovely wonderful and loving muslim man but he didn't make love to me unless I obliged him to by "acting as a man in bed" unfortunately since I hated to do it. Is that logical?? Why not? Sexual difficulties are very common in marriage, and can definitely be worked on with the help of a professional therapist. (Editor's note: this refers to a comment by SarahL that has been deleted). Are you now tying your boat to his? It is very well staying something the like of 'we all make mistakes' , however, it is another thing for the one who has publically uttered something wrong to then publically rectify that, and that too especially when they are more influential. Abu Hurayrah made a supplication saying: "O Lord, I ask You... for knowledge which will not be forgotten. Converted to Islam from Hinduism, but girlfriend’s parents don’t accept me. Sister Jannah, you are mixing in some intelligent comments with errors. He plays video games but It’s a healthy hobby for him (an hour or two a few times a week). He always asks me if I have also reached satisfaction and if I say no he gets very angry, and then tells me to wait an hour or more for him to feel erect again. Nor did he take any offence to it? On the authority of the servant of the prophet[saww] Anas Ibn Maalik [may Allaah be pleased with him] ; "the messenger of Allaah used to visit all his wives in one night, and i counted the number of wives he [saww] had, and they were 9 at the time" Painful intercourse is something that can be treated, on both an emotional and physical level. After sister Faith has given the proof, I think you should take this remark of your back. ofcourse, if a person constanly engages in sex all the time, it can be harmfull as explained by shaykh-Al-Islam Ibn-Al-Qayyim on many occasions and it weakens the body and perverts the mind, but that is when a man goes beyond what he is capable of. In that event, the lack of children may turn out to be a blessing. It's a lot of work and we do our best. if Allah wills) but he did not say, 'Allah willing.' Women generally do not climax from intercourse, and certainly not from brief intercourse with no foreplay. I am a 24yr old married woman who have been married for 4 yrs with my husband. so asking would not be such a big problem, and finding it hard to swollow may also not be a suprise. This is very very sad. Until one day my husband began to behave in a way he could not understand, I was … Low sex drive may also occur due to medications or health problems so it may be a good idea to rule that out. History. I'm suffering exactly the same problem as you. Please read these links (especially the first one) We talk regularly and do video chat as well, but I crave for sex. 6 ways to talk to your partner if you're not satisfied with your sex life. Salaam brothers and sisters, and eid mubarak to you all. your husband needs to manup, and increase his stamina, lift heavy wieghts, go fitness, eat healthy. The motivation of those who created such lies are clear: Abu Hurayrah is the single most prolific narrator of hadith accepted by the Sunnis, so if he can be undermined, then one of the foundation of Sunni jurisprudence can be knocked away. He honoured women and with them, their bodies". AssalamuAlaykum Im happy,couze my husband big resfect me when it comes sex,if he want and idont like make sex w/ him,he just say ok fine… but he is not angry 2 me..thans 4 … First of all he got sexual education and they teached him how to control himself (they also teached me how to help him the best way). There is help to get and many find the cure with the right help. This goes to myself first and foremost and all here. He’s kind, hilarious, and financially stable, but selfish in bed. http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/husband-not-interested-in-sex/, http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/kissf.htm. I only say that its not very likely it was his daily or nightly routine and main function as a caring husband . so yes sister, Allaah always gives a prophet more than the common folk/believer. character and the reduction of Rassul Allah to his mere sexuality. Now coming back to the Sister, I think Islam has provided us with many many ways of solving sexual, problems. If one was to come up with a list of the … I’d highly appreciate it. literally. Remember to use enough lubrication. Then I hear the brothers complaining and screaming. I don't say it was a lie that he was able to do that. Did he leave that out? If I am not satisfied with him sexually, I will go straight to him and tell him the areas that I want him to improve on or how to do better. As for what I said regarding 'claim to be Muslim', I did not mean to say it in an insulting manner and if it came across like that, which I understand it may seem like, then im sorry. In the saheehayn? Telling my husband was the best thing I ever did for us. If this is the case, then complimenting him and reminding him that you love him, and find him attractive should encourage him to try again. i have not heard of anything except menses sex and anal as being haram as this is clear. Facebook. Unfortunately my buddy has decided to cheat on his wife. I do not believe for a second that 'Umar ibn Al-Khattab (ra) whipped Abu Hurayrah (ra), or that Abu Hurayrah ever lied against the Prophet (pbuh). Your counsellor is bound by confidentiality laws, so you can be frank with her. As I mentioned earlier, our Nabi married those. What you've got to do is ask if he's prepared to forget the reatment he's received from you, irrespective of whether you were blackmailed to marry him or not, he didn't blackmail you, he's innocent. Pelvic health. I'm married for 5 years now, without any kids. If both people are not having their basic needs, and their desires, satisfied then there is a problem in the relationship, whether it is a result or cause of those frustrated needs. A saheeh hadith cannot be rejected just because you don't like the sound of it. You sound like a buddy of mine right now. Come on sisters, wake up. He didn't have an easy time with so many. one night, he travelled from hijaaz, aaaaaaall the way to northers 'iraaq, just just just to hear one single narration from the messenger of Allaah. Ok, in Islam, women have sexual rights, to look after them, to satisfy their needs. !.his brings the wrath of Allaah. you still doing what you used to do? the conclusion is that if every single hadeeth in bukhaari is not authentic, then there has never been, will never be an authentic hadeeth on this planet. did you not know that sayyidnaa sulaymaan slept with 100 of his women in one night? One of us fulfils his sexual desire and he is given a reward for that?” And he said, “Do you not see that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? As for the role of a woman in sexual foreplay, the Imams (A.S.) have praised a wife who discards shyness when she is with her husband. Both are true and do not contradict each other, he honoured his wives and he slept with them. However, this is totally incorrect, for who can possibly be more pious, pure and God-fearing than the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace), yet not only did he encourage foreplay, etc, but practically engaged in it with his wives, as we have learnt from the many narrations quoted above. The holy prophet was not the "Sex god" astaghfirullah that people have, made of him, even Muslims. His motivation probably would have been to give them all their rights so none of them felt that they were being treated indifferently. It is not something that he should be shy or reluctant about. There are many reasons for this disorders both biological and psycological but this problem is causing lack of confidence to our husbands and makes them afraid not being able to perform well and therefore prefers to avoid sex to not have the feeling of not being a man. How is it humanly possible to be sexually intimate with 9 different women and love them all? Since this post has received many replies, I am closing it to further comments. It is a fabrication. I never initiate, and that bothers him. Use the scientific knowledge that is out there!! "As I mentioned earlier, our Nabi married those, women in order to give them shelter and protection, and not simply because of Sex". prophet sulaimaan[as] had hundreds of female partners and would sleep with aaaaaaaaall of them on the same night in order for them to give birth to boys who would fight in the cause of Allaah. I Had your problem, we the help of God resolved it and now I'm happily expecting a baby. Otherwise just relax and enjoy your husband. Let him know how your feeling without being accusing. (al-Insan 76:9-10) Secondly: With regard to what you mention of your husband’s falling short in regularly offering the prayers on time, this is his sin and not yours; it is his disobedience and not yours. "Sexlessness can occur when couples stop trying to attract and arouse each other and the intimate side of their lives become stagnant and boring. What are the benefits of consummation on the first night of marriage? This is a sexual disease or disorder called "PREMATURE EJACULATION" and is quite common specially for men that have repressed their sexual feelings their whole life. also the sahaabah[ra] who most of them had four wives, and other female sexual partners used to engage in sexual activity alot of times. imaam al muhaadith al 'allaamah bukhaari memorised over 100 000 strong/authentic ahadeeth , the strongest, most authentic seven thousand he has placed in his saheeh, jaami' munsad, mukhtasar [aka saheeh bukhaari]. is it allow wife to swallow her husbands semen and husband to kiss her wifes genital part ? There is also sprays to buy in pharmacy like stud100 that delay ejaculation. Moreso, I just don’t understand how a man can engage in a sexual act with 9 different women in one night and for it to be called love, and not lust? But the biggest things i hope you didn't lose your faith in islam.to be a moslem not under pressure. In fact, he removed himself from the dispute and took no side. This is also why I asked why Abu zubairs comments were deleted - having not known then that it was yet to be moderated etc. I don’t know who to talk to. I see now that I need so much more than he is capable of giving me. Please do not take my post in a negative way; I just really want someone to give me a proper, educated answer in regards to this issue. As he was given different allowances by Allah - that of marrying more than four - he was also given extra power and strength by Allah to be able to fulfill all of their needs and his responsibilites. My doctor suggested that I masturbate but it is a sin. Unfortunately my buddy has decided to cheat on his wife. It seems that I'm always pulling him towards me when he prefers to watch movies on the lap top all night. This will take practice, but persist and inshaAllah you will both enjoy marital intimacy. Me, you or the scholars? I will not allow anyone to insult or demean any of the Sahabah (may Allah be pleased with them all) on this website. The pain and hurt you feel has been felt by many Muslim women. that is why Allaah made the man and the woman. That is the route to humiliation and self-incrimination. Plus, if certain certains of his private life were not narrated, what else would have brought you to the conclusion of how he 'honoured women with their bodies"?? Jalabie. Dear sister, may Allah reward you for being brave enough to ask about this deeply private and important topic. it caused alot of controversy and people saying dangerous things about the prophets [as]. Yes, I do not prefer it as most women do not (because it would be extremely difficult for me to accept my husband having any sort of relations with another woman) but that does not mean that I do not accept Allah swt's command. I have just read the other questions posted by this person and it puts this in a different light. My mums friend asked me the other day if my periods were regular and I said yes. Who can blame him? The prophet answered: Take off a bit, but not too much. But she can answer for herself when she returns. But now a days, many people accept only the portions of Islam that fit with their own whims and desire, and twist the portion that they do not like or simply refuse it by questioning the authenticity of hadith. Justine says she "just filed for divorce this past week" because her husband of 25 years "thought that not having sex was OK. There could be work stress, or bad health or a lack of intimacy or bond that draws couples together. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever tells lies about me, let him take his place in Hell.” (narrated by al-Bukhari, 110; Muslim, 3). 12 ways on how to attract husband sexually in Islam that a wife must know. 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